


Oh, Wyrm?

by Strawberrybats



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, F/F, I just wanted those tags to exist, Lindworm Hina, Milkmaid Aya, gratuitous retelling of a fairy tale but this time it's gay and funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 04:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrybats/pseuds/Strawberrybats
Summary: Once upon a time, a lindworm and a beautiful princess were born on the same day. This proved to have complications later down the line.--------------------------------------------“A bride for me before a groom for her.” the creature spoke. “That’s the custom here, isn’t it? The first child demands the first marriage!”“What first child? I’m an only child - mother?” Sayo was indignant at first, but the Queen paled with every word. Sayo’s indignance turned to dread. “Mother, you can’t be serious...”“She had twi-ins~!"





	Oh, Wyrm?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic for me and 2 groups of people: people who are possibly desperate for content and ppl who lose their mind over retellings of moderately obscure fairy tales. if you're one of those people, congrats!!! this is a hyper specific AU. I have no excuses lol

Once upon a time, there was a woman and a witch. The woman, the new Queen, wept, and the witch of the woodlands came out to ease her tears. The Queen could not have children, and so struck a deal with the witch. Come the next morning, she would go out to the gardens and find two beautiful roses, one white and one red. If she sought a daughter, she would eat the white, if she sought a son, she would eat the red. The witch made her promise to only eat one of the flowers, then departed with her payment - all the bread made in the castle kitchens that day. 

The next morning, the Queen did indeed find two lone flowers, and ate the white first, imagining a beautiful daughter to care for. But no sooner had she done that than did she consider that her husband may want a male heir, and quickly ate the red, fearing her husband the King would prefer a son. 

After a long pregnancy, she gave birth to two children - one beautiful girl, and a terrible, snakelike thing with scales that glistened white and milk-teeth sharp as nails. In horror, she swore the midwife to secrecy, and threw the wyrm creature into the well, where she had hoped it would spend the rest of its days out of the sight of others. 

Princess Sayo grew into a beautiful woman, there was no doubting that. With each year of her life, her beauty only seemed to compound, the teal of her hair and green of her eyes striking all who laid their eyes upon her. She carried herself with a grave sincerity, taking interest in both tactics of war and matters of the home. But never suitors. 

When, upon her eighteenth birthday, her parents insisted she seek a husband, Sayo graciously agreed to do so. They easily found men willing to take up the mantle, and within the month they had an engagement set up between Sayo and the prince of a neighboring kingdom. 

On the night they were to be wed, however, a loud and terrible screech interrupted the ceremony, and the guards ran screaming from the gate as a monstrously large wyrm tread in on claws of obsidian, body covered in scales that shone unearthly white in the torchlight. It almost seemed to grin down at the rest of them, through yellowed fangs. “A bride for me before a groom for her.”  it spoke, with a voice like nails on tile. “That’s the custom here, isn’t it? The first child demands the first marriage!”

“What  _ first  _ child? I’m an  _ only _ child - mother?” Sayo was indignant at first, but the Queen paled with every word. Sayo’s indignance turned to dread. “Mother, you can’t be serious...”

“She had  _ twi-ins~! _ ” The wyrm still grins, tail squirming with a mind of its own. It twists its body even as it idles, like a snake that’s been dropped out of a tree. “Right, Mother? But  _ I  _ came first, and  _ I _ demand the first marriage.” 

The ceremony was already long since over, but the creature skittered down the aisles purposefully, hind legs out of sync with the front, and leered down at the Neighbor-Prince, blowing a ring of smoke into his face. “Since I’m not engaged....”  The wyrm said, showing off every point of its teeth, “you’re going to have to leave, dude.”

As if it even had to ask. Dubious word choice ignored, the prince promptly fled the room, leaving a terrified minister, the still-pale Queen, the wyrm, and Sayo. 

With a flick of its tail, the wyrm goes to eat the wedding cake. “So,” it starts, frosting coating its muzzle, “Since I’m going to be living here until I get a wife, how about we all get to know each other?”

The Queen fainted. 

Such is how Hina came to live in the castle; and Sayo’s initial fear quickly turned to ire once it was made obvious enough that the creature had no respect for anything, or anyone, but seemed otherwise uninclined to devour people left and right. 

Hina disagreed with Sayo’s interpretation of things, but that was another matter.

“What are you up to, princess~?” 

“Leave me, beast.” Sayo pulls her pen from the inkwell and flicks the still-dripping black ink at Hina’s snout, leaving dalmation-like spots against the white scales. 

“You’re so meeeaaaann,” the wyrm whines, rolling over onto the floor rather than departing from the room. She wiggles around, back-to-floor, like she’s trying to scratch an itch. “I’m doing you a favor, aren’t I? As long as I’m around, you’ll never have to see another stinking prince in your life!”

This intriguing, utterly foolish notion inspires Sayo to put down her pen and turn to stare at the favor-doer in question. “You have an absolutely incomprehensible idea of the word ‘favor’, Hina. In what way does your presence benefit me? Preventing me from ever getting married? Preventing the hundreds of opportunities to form political alliances with other kingdoms? Preventing our line from ever being propagated?”

The wyrm twists her face into a strange, almost snarl. “Eww, who uses words like propagated? Can’t you just say not having babies?”

“The question stands. If you answer it, I’ll let you stay in my room for ten more minutes.”

“Really?!” Sitting up eagerly, Hina’s body coils around itself. “Okay, then! I noticed you’re not into men, so I figured not getting hitched to one would be a good thing for you.”

The blunt way she says it almost gives Sayo a heart attack. “What-  what gave you that idea?” Her shoulders drop as a more sudden fear grips her. “ _ Who _ have you told?!” she hisses, through her teeth.

“I thought it was kinda obvious. Haven’t told anybody, though.” Her tail flicks lazily, side-to-side. “Anyway, I’m forced to not let you get married because of our curse, but I thought in this case you wouldn’t mind it so much. Was I wrong?” Her head tips to one side. It might have been endearing if she hadn’t chosen that particular moment to run a forked tongue clear over her own eyes, licking the ink stains from earlier clean. 

Sayo tries to squash her distaste long enough to reply without grimacing. “What do you mean, ‘our’ curse? I thought you were the only one cursed,” she asks instead, laying her pen down as the conversation further captures her attention. 

Hina scratches at her head with a back foot. “Well, it’s sort of like this, the way I had it worked out. I can’t stop myself from stopping you from getting married. Like, I just showed up here on your wedding day without even knowing why! So I think there has to be some sort of, y’know, link between the two. I look like this, and you can’t ever get married. That’s a two-parter, right?”

“I....suppose.” Sayo admits reluctantly. “But what could we possibly have been cursed for? Mother still won’t speak about the matter with me.”

“Eh, people get curses all the time.” Hina replies nonchalantly. “If I had a septim for every time I saw someone get cursed, I wouldn’t even need to be a princess!  _ Buuuut _ I am, so I’m super rich already.”

“The royal treasury is not an  _ allowance _ , Hina,” Sayo grumbles, folding her arms. “And I can’t believe your attitude, being perfectly frank. This is a grave problem.”

“Maybe for you! I woke up a week ago and had a cool sister!” Hina twists around Sayo, rubbing her scaled head against her. As much as Sayo tries to shove her away, she’s bigger, and ultimately gets her way, wrapping much of her upper body around the chair. It’d be scary if it wasn’t so obnoxious. “I’m only getting good things out of this. Lucky me, right?”

Sayo puts her head in her hands, resting her elbows on the desk. “Well, I’m glad this has worked out so  _ swimmingly _ for you, then.”

“Really? Thanks! You’re so nice to me, Sayo~!” Cheerily, Hina slides herself out of Sayo’s reach, crooning about the room like a preening bird. “I think I’m gonna go look for mice to eat in the rafters.”

Sayo stares down at her desk, burning the sight of the blank trade document into her eyes. She hasn’t written a word since Hina came in. 

“Hey, do you want any?”

Sayo grits her teeth. “...I changed my mind. Out of my room.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......!”

* * *

Somehow, her parents manage to find a bride. Another princess, who she supposes must have been told she was to marry Sayo, because she can’t think of any other reason for the girl to have traveled this far knowing she was to marry a serpentine dragon-thing (unless she’s into that, a possibility that she can’t crush before it crosses her mind and sends a chill of unease down her spine. Such people exist, after all) and isn’t allowed to see her suitor until it’s too late to back out.

Sayo had expected Hina to be as carefree and careless as usual about the ordeal, but finds the wyrm has twisted herself in knots before the ceremony, almost literally. “Oh, this is  _ super _ bad. I can’t think of anything less boppin than this.....oh, boy....”

“Upset you can’t interfere in my love life anymore?” Sayo says drily, unable to resist the prospect of, for once, being the one to gloat. If you can call what Hina does gloating. It’s really more like ‘earnestly being happy about a good thing happening to her, without considering that it annoys other people’. 

The little brat. Sayo can’t help but feel a touch bad all of a sudden anyway. 

Hina shakes her head. “Hardly! This is super bad.....you know how we’re sorta cursed, right?”

“Soon to be un-cursed,” Sayo interjects, even though she’s pretty sure she knows exactly where this line of conversation is going. 

“About that,” Hina says, squirming with her entire body. She explains the  _ other _ thing she’d pieced together about the curse, or been told, or -  _ however _ she got her information, to Sayo. 

Oh, gods. 

Sayo storms into the chapel where her mother and father are arranging bouquets and another cake, making the thing seem more and more like a real wedding. “Call the wedding off! Call it off, father!”

“S-Sayo? What’s the meaning of this, now?”

Sayo hurriedly pulls her parents away from the waiting ears of the pastor. Religious folk are always the gossipy type. She hasn’t trusted one since she told Sister Lisa about her crush and suddenly even outcast wyrm-beasts knew she was into women. 

She takes a deep breath. “It’s too risky to marry Hina to a princess.” 

Her mother responds first, uneasy as she was. “I know it’s unconventional, but she was rather specific about a bride -”

“Not  _ that _ ,” she hisses, still keeping her voice low. “It’s more the fact that she’s a giant lindworm. Consider that she might not treat her bride as a wife so much as a snack. What would all the neighboring kingdoms think of us if a princess vanished on our soil? It’d be a provocation of war, surely.”

“The girl hasn’t eaten anyone yet,” the king replies, sounding particularly defensive. “What’s to say she would start now?”

“What’s to say she hasn’t already?” Sayo counters, crossing her arms. “It’s too risky; I can’t allow it. If the worst comes, it’s already over for us.”

Her mother sighs. “What would you have us do then, Sayo? Allow you to remain unwedded forever?”

‘ _ Ideally, yes,’ _ she thinks, a bit selfishly. Sayo crushes that down too, since she’s sure careless thoughts like that must be contagious - she must have gotten it from Hina, damn wyrm. “You just have to find a different bride. Someone safer politically - just to eliminate the risk of her attacking the girl and starting a war. We can take measures to prevent possible violence, but if we were to fail.....surely you can understand the consequences.” 

“Our daughter speaks true, I’m afraid,” the King says, looking resigned himself. “Our nation isn’t quite large enough to fend off an attack if this princess should go missing - her country has many allies, most of whom we do not know.”

“So the wedding is off, then....what a shame.” The Queen pinches the bridge of her nose in much the same way Sayo herself does when she gets a headache. It’s a very understandable reaction, all things considered. “We will find someone soon, Sayo. Don’t worry yourself too much over this setback.”

She nods, back straight. “Of course.”

Departing into a different corridor, she lets herself sigh only when she’s certain her parents can no longer see or hear her. What a mess she’s embroiled in.... Sayo dreads to think what will become of whichever poor farmgirl her parents decide to pluck up, and focuses on getting back to her chambers in peace. 

“-oof!”

Or, not so in peace. Not paying attention to her movements in her sullen stomping, Sayo accidentally bowls someone in the halls over, and immediately stops to assist the servant. Normally she shouldn’t lower herself to this level, but it was her fault, after all, and that means she’d be remiss not to take a little responsibility -

“Eheheh, wow, you were walking with a purpose, huh? You don’t need to stop for me, princess. I can manage on my own.”

Sayo looks up, seeing the baker girl standing sheepishly with her basket, and feels her heart beat triple-time. 

Oh, no. Of course it’s the one person she wants  _ least _ to make an arse of herself in front of.

“I-I insist, Miss Hazawa,” she replies, using the excuse of kneeling to pick up pastries to hide her face. “I was at fault; I’ll help you get these to the kitchen to make up for lost time.” 

Tsugumi laughs. “You’re too generous with your time, you know that? I won’t turn you down, though.”

Sayo just nods again, still flustered from the run-in, and gathers up as much bread as she can. Leave it to her to run into Tsugumi here.

* * *

There isn’t much to be said of her house. Or anyone’s house, really. Aya knows how hard it is to make the kind of money you need for decorations, so really, does she have any right to complain about her barren chambers?

At the crack of dawn, she gets up, ties her hair back into it’s braids, and fetches the milk-pail. They only have two cows of their own, so it’s not much of a chore for her household, but she has to work a few dozen pastures belonging to nobles in and around the area, and their cows won’t milk themselves!

Yup, nothing to do but put a little good old fashioned love and elbow grease into this work - she’s the only income for their family anyway, ever since her father blew out his back on the trough, and her mother passed away - she used to be a midwife for the royal family, where she’d met her father.

He’d been a knight once - Aya always fancied herself a noble princess, playing the role of a damsel while her father spun her around with his old gear on. 

But the reality is just that she is what she’ll always be - a milkmaid, going nowhere, with no finery whatsoever.

Or so she thought. 

Up even earlier than herself, her father sits in the parlor with two decadently-dressed individuals that she soon recognizes as the King and Queen. Aya clamps her hands over her mouth to keep from gasping and hides beside the wall, out of their sight. 

“...-must insist that you allow us your daughter’s hand in marriage. Our eldest child must be wed before Princess Sayo.” Aya has to press really,  _ really _ hard to keep from shouting. But why now? She’d thought a princess had just been sent in - that the eldest child was already married. Why her?

This is some shady business, to be sure.  _ But, _ it’s shady business that might make her a princess, so she tunes her ear to it just the same. The Queen speaks. “You’ll be well-compensated for her, we assure you.”

“I will not  _ sell _ my daughter to be wed to your beast-child,” her father replies, quite angrily. “Die for my kingdom, certainly, take my wife’s secret to my grave, certainly, but I cannot grant you my daughter.”

The phrase bounces around in Aya’s head.  _ Well-compensated _ . Her father has a hard enough time finding work, and a milkmaid’s salary is hardly fit for two. She bites her lip. Not to mention being a princess. Doesn’t like the sound of a ‘beast-child’, though.

As Aya frets, the discussion continues, the royal family insisting each time on greater boons or payments, and her father insistently refusing, until Aya herself decides to cut her losses before he gets outcast for treason. “Good morning, dad!”

Announcing her presence, she strides into the room and takes place near him. “You didn’t tell me we’d have guests.”

“Oh! What a darling girl. What was your name again, dear?”

“Aya,” she tells the Queen with a low curtsey. How do the noble-folk speak, anyway? Aya decides to just throw some of her biggest words out and see what sticks. “It is most fortunate that our paths cross now. I hope we are...” She racks her brain; there’s a ten cent word in there somewhere. “Exemplary hosts,” she concludes. 

None of that seems to stick with the royal couple, but at least she tried. “Yes, well...we came to ask you to marry our oldest child, but your father seems rather against the idea.” Aya can tell the Queen is wheedling her for agreement from a mile away; she’d have thought a trained diplomat would be a bit more subtle. 

“Oh, it sounds wonderful. Will I get the chance to meet this oldest child first?” she asks, leveling her gaze.

The King tugs at his cloak-collar. “Well - no.”

“Perhaps we can exchange letters, then?” Aya offers, knowing full well that no beast-child could write. 

Looking a bit more flustered, the King once again replies, “Well - no, I don’t suppose you could.”

“Our child is cursed, you see! And she must find love before the curse will be lifted,” the Queen says hurriedly. “You must have sympathy for us, please! If the curse is never lifted, our second child cannot marry - no one in the castle will ever marry again.”

It  _ does _ tug at her heartstrings - enough for her to curl her arms in toward her chest at the thought of it. “I’ll do it!” She shouts suddenly, overcome with sympathy. “I can marry your first daughter - please, stop crying!”

The tears may have just been for show, because they dry like rain in the sun when Aya makes her promise, and the King and Queen leave as fast as they’d come in a whirlwind of promises and fanciful bows and waves goodbye. 

Her father shakes his head with a weary sigh. Although he’ll never have to work again thanks to the more than generous sum he’d been promised, he still seems despondent. 

“Dad....I know it doesn’t sound very promising, but I’ll find a way to make this work out for us. With the extra money you could see a physician about your back....!” Looking on the bright side has always been a specialty of hers, but getting her dad around to it is harder than it might seem. 

“Your heart is in the right place, Aya.” Moving to stand, he sets a hand on her head, affectionately ruffling her hair. “But this is too dangerous for the likes of us. I will have to find some way to get audience with the King and Queen, and call it off....” He sighs again. “Not that it’ll be easy.”

“You don’t have to call it off! I want to do this for us!” Aya protests. “I’ll be fine, dad!”

“Just stay out of trouble.” With that, her father leaves the house, and a frustrated Aya within it. 

Jeez....it wouldn’t be the end of the world! What’s the worst that could happen - the firstborn is a monster, they can’t talk, they call the marriage off. Right? But then, they already did that with that foreign princess.

Aya takes a moment to consider why the princess had been sent away - was she too stuck up, or was it too dangerous? If it was dangerous, why would they approach another girl, though? The King and Queen wouldn’t do that....

Or.....

She knew this was too good to be true. Did she think they jumped straight to the poor folk because princesses were too stuck up? If that were the case, the princess and the frog would never have happened! Of course there’s something else wrong with the first princess!

They’re just sending in Aya because no one will care if something happens to her.....!

The realization nearly causes her to collapse on the spot, and she flees the house into the forest so that she might cry as loudly as she likes without disturbing the neighbors. 

What her father had been given was no dowry. It was just the opposite: payment for a soon to be departed child. Aya cries herself hoarse in the woods considering her mortality, only looking up when a hand is outstretched toward her, cupping her chin and tipping it up. 

“Oh, what’s this~? Another lost girl, come to auntie Moca~” Weathered grey eyes pierce directly through Aya’s own, as if cutting through the blurry tears. “Don’t cry. We can always make another miracle, you know~”

She can’t quite tell if confusion or an actual sense of reassurance shuts her up, but whatever dried her tears did it effectively. The woman sits beside Aya with interest. “There we go.....tell me what makes you cry, and we’ll take good care of it together.”

Aya sucks a breath in through her nose, all sniffles, but goes on. “I.....I’m going to marry the King and Queen’s oldest daughter, but I heard she’s a terrible monster. Sh-she’s going to  _ e-eat _ me when we get married, and I’ll leave my father all alone and no-one else will even  _ miss _ me.” She’s sobbing again. Oops. 

“A monster daughter, huh~?” The other woman sounds like she might want to laugh. “Ah, but there’s always a way to break curses. I know just what this monster princess needs, but you have to follow every instruction I give you. Otherwise, you’ll be cursed yourself! Well, cursed before you’re eaten, I guess.” She does laugh this time, clearly very amused by the situation. “But smart girls like you know not to play with the rules of curses, don’t you?”

“O-of course! Please, tell me what to do!”

Moca nods slowly, then takes a deep breath. “Wear ten dresses under your wedding gown. When the princess takes you to her chambers, demand that she shed her skin as you shed your dresses. Wait until the last one, then - throw fresh milk at her, and cradle her to sleep.”

“M-milk?  _ Cradle _ her?” Aya stammers. “Are you  _ sure?” _

“You could always not follow my advice, and see if she eats you,” the witch offers. 

Aya grimaces. “No, I’ll do it. Thank you very much for your help -”

“Great Witch Moca,” Moca supplies, standing slowly. “Tell Hina I said hello when you see her~” That said, she seems to vanish - one moment standing beside her looking for all the world like she can’t move at speeds faster than a particularly determined sloth, and the next, out of sight entirely. 

Must be magic, Aya thinks, and wonders how she’s going to hide a whole jug’s worth of milk in her bedchambers on the night of the wedding.

* * *

The day of the wedding comes, beating down with an oppressive tempo. As much as she hesitates, tonight is the make-or-break. Aya’s too young to die, so she knows what she’s gotta do!

The castle looks lovely, at least, a closed wedding ceremony with only the royal family in attendance. Aya’s dad is here too, but he looks kind of miserable, so Aya coaches herself through her vow practices and pretends he’s not here, because he’s being depressing about the whole thing. 

Princess Sayo looks supremely uncomfortable, and spends as much time as possible loitering around the cake and bakery, like that’ll do her any good. 

As she was told, Aya wears ten dresses, and insisted on as much milk as possible being brought to her bedchambers, explaining it away as a milkmaid’s tradition of transitioning into womanhood. Fortunately the royals knew nothing about actual superstitions and rituals, and so believed her and had it arranged. 

A gigantic wyrm is escorted into the chambers by the King, and Aya has to swallow and remind herself she’s soon to be locked in a room alone with it. S-such huge claws.....and teeth....! And that long, spindly body....Aya feels a bit faint, but she can’t lose heart. It is, quite literally, too late to back out. It’d be treason if she tried it, and then she’d die just as sure as she would being gobbled up by those great big teeth of hers.

They walk down the aisle, Aya shaking with - okay, it’s not anticipation, it’s fear. She’s about ready to wet herself, but manages not to. As they walk down, the wyrm turns her head to her, anxious green eye locking onto her own when she blocks her way with her head. “Are you sure about this? Like, super duper sure?”

“No,”she whispers back through her forced smile, “But what’s life without a few risks?”

“Uh, life?” the wyrm replies, looking as supremely uncomfortable as her sister, despite the reptilian features. “You can totally back out! No hurt feelings at all!”

Aya strengthens her resolve instead. “Too late for regrets....I’ll marry you, princess, I swear it! I can’t break my word so easily! Otherwise, no one in your family can ever marry again!”

“Okay......j-just remember I said it’s cool to say no at the vow part, alright? I mean it! You can!” 

Aya doesn’t say no at “the vow part”. Sayo, from the stands, looks about ready to eat her dress sleeves, and avoids all eye contact when Aya moves for the wedding cake, wandering morosely up to Aya’s side. 

Without looking at her, she says, “I can have the guards stationed outside the door for you. Don’t do anything foolish.”

“Can you have them sent away, actually?” Nervously, Aya twists a lock of hair around her finger. “I-I mean, just because people usually have to....I mean.....p-privacy for the newlyweds, and all....” What’s the right way to explain that she intends to throw milk at, and then caress the wyrm before it eats her? It’s reassuring to think Princess Sayo wants to keep her from being eaten, but Aya is pretty sure that if Hina wants to eat, there’s not much that could stop her from trying it. 

She doesn’t seem particularly bloodthirsty, but one way or another this curse needs breaking, and if Aya is the one to do it, she gets to be a princess!

Of course, if she’s not the one to do it, that leaves her dead or near death, which isn’t ideal, but like she said: what’s life without risks and foolishly-agreed-to-cursebreaking-schemes?

Not very fun, that’s what it is!

So Sayo walks off uncomfortably stiff and the newlyweds eventually make it to their chambers, also uncomfortable. 

Aya feels entirely too hot and stuffy in ten shifts and a bridal dress, but rules are rules and curses must be broken. Hina moves stiffly, like some sort of wooden automaton, until they reach the chambers and suddenly she seems....less hindered. 

The eyes she’d only barely been acquainting herself with gleam unearthly red, and Hina twists her body around the bedpost, back legs trailing far behind the front as she paces the small space impatiently. Out of the corner of her eye Aya sees that the wyrm has nearly backed into one of the tubs of milk, but luckily avoided hitting it with her foot. Thank the gods, she thinks. Or she might’ve been thinking that if there wasn’t a scaled monster face-to-face with her. 

“Fair maiden,” Hina purrs in a tone she had definitely not used during the wedding, “shed a shift.”

Make or break time....! Aya has been rehearsing this since her encounter with Moca, so it’s definitely going to go flawlessly now.... “F-first! Lindworm, thake -” Ah, fuck! She bit her tongue! She bit her tongue! 

Aya coughs. 

“I asked you to take off your shift,” the wyrm repeats impatiently.

Emboldening herself once more, Aya looks her ‘wife’ in the eye. “Lindworm, shed a skin!”

“What?” Hina’s voice seems to take on its previous, and much less formal, quality. “Shed a skin?”

“Yes.” Aya says, now confident. “I take off a shift if you take off a skin. We both have to undress, don’t we? It’s proper procedure.”

The wyrm blinks. “Oh, uh....well, I guess it is, then. Alright....”

Aya hurriedly removes one of the shifts, as Hina does..... _ something _ , the likes of which she would rather not have seen and would definitely prefer to avoid reliving through description, to shed a layer of scales. 

“Fair maiden, take off your -”

“Shed a skin first,” Aya says, firmly. 

“Aw, again?!”

And again, and again. They repeat the process, along with Hina’s game of magically shuffling intonations and demeanors, until Aya is down to her very last shift. Hina’s scales have taken on a pinkish sheen, slippery and looking a bit worse for wear, not ever meant to be exposed to the outside air.

Hina begins, once more, to ask Aya to remove a shift, nearly writhing with impatience now, and Aya cautiously pads her way to her side of the bed with the jugs of milk. 

_ Princess Hina..... _ Aya thinks to herself, grunting as she raises the first jug, “Sorry about this!!!” she shouts, and hurls the milk by the bucketful at the lindworm. She must have dumped four or five jugs onto her, accompanied by shouting and hissing all the while, before she ran out. 

“I have to cradle you now! Please, just get on the bed and this will all be over, princess Hina!” She’s crying a little herself.

If Hina can even hear Aya, it’s not looking promising. Ah, perhaps she should have maneuvered Hina onto the bed  _ before _ dumping the milk on her.... The purifying substance which Moca had insisted Aya dump on the wyrm clearly brings her pain, and the spasming of a creature so large is hard to contain in any meaningful way. But if she doesn’t cradle her, isn’t she failing to follow Moca’s Exceptionally Clear Instructions? The cradling is essential! The cradling is the piece that holds this whole act together!

She has.....to.....do this!

“HINA! I HAVE TO CRADLE YOU IN MY ARMS! HOLD STILL!” Now shouting herself, Aya throws herself onto the slippery wyrm and tries desperately to get a good hold on her. After some time and a lot of thrashing, she manages to sit on the greater part of Hina’s back and pin her to the point she can get her arms under Hina’s two upper legs, and Aya begins to stand up from there.

The princess continues to squirm and slips again out of her grasp. Gods...damn....it! “GET BACK HERE!”

Aya drops to the floor to catch Hina before she can reduce too much of her hard-earned progress in dragging her towards the bed, and finally,  _ finally _ Aya manages to full-body throw the wyrm onto the very large, plush-cushioned bed. Whew! That sure was a fight, but Aya’s dealt with her share of unruly cattle, so fortunately it seems she’s won this round. She hurries after Hina onto the bed before she can recuperate and wraps her arms around her as best she can manage.

The effect is instant. Hina’s squirming and writhing stops, and Aya herself feels oddly as though every muscle in her body has relaxed. The uncomfortable heat of the chambers, the soggy shift from spilled milk....all of it seems to fade away in her mind.

Yeah......like sleeping on a cloud.....

Aya finds herself falling asleep near instantly, head pressed against Hina’s. She followed directions.....she’ll be fine........but for now.....sleep........

* * *

Although her rest had been so deep it bordered on a coma, it would take a miracle or complete deafness to sleep through the ruckus caused directly beside Aya the following morning. It’s pretty unintelligible, though, at least until Aya feels a pair of hands patting her cheeks rather roughly.

Rather  _ very _ roughly. “Ow!” Did someone just  _ slap _ her? She jerks awake, feeling the agitated skin and wondering if it’d left a mark while her bedside companion (and morning alarm) jabs another wandering arm into Aya’s side. 

“Does that make you feel funny too?”

“Wh -” Another jab, Aya bites her lip to keep from laughing as she is very aggressively tickled. Who’s in her bed with her? Why does she sound so familiar? Actually, come to think of it, where is the gigantic wyrm she fell asleep next to?

Another jab, and Aya’s laugh spills out along with an accusation, or at least, some attempt to shed light on the stranger. “Princess Hina?!”

“Haha, totally!” With a beaming smile, the girl finally keeps her hands to herself, seeming to test her grip around air. She checks her palms excitedly. “I woke up and everything was like, completely boppin’, you know? I’ve never felt this good! Do you feel good too?”

Breath recovered, Aya nods a bit slowly, taking in the former cursed-child’s new appearance. 

Put bluntly, she was gorgeous. To be a bit more flowery, Hina is the same level of to-die-for charm and perfect skin as Princess Sayo. Perfectly soft, blue-green hair, eyes the color of warm sea at sunset, a perfect set of teeth.... Has this been hiding that whole time?!

Hina quirks her lips in a frown. “If you feel good, say so! You look a bit shocked.”

“I guess.....I am shocked. You’re very pretty...” Aya trails off, flustered. 

“Aw, you weren’t this nervous during the wedding! We’re married! You should be more comfortable with me~” Trapping Aya against her arm and the pillows, Hina brings the two of them back flat onto the bed, nuzzling her head into Aya’s chest affectionately.  “You even broke the curse!”

“A-ah! We should tell your family about that! I still need to tell my father I lived!” She’d totally forgotten about that! Honestly, with that kind of track record, Aya might just lose her own head one of these days. She feels like smacking herself. 

Aya hurriedly slides off the bed, and Hina follows curiously. “Do we have to?”

“Of course we have to! They’re probably nervous. And everyone will be happy to see you like this - think about your parents and Princess Sayo!” Aya says sternly. “Be more considerate, Hina!”

“Oh! You’re totally right!” Suddenly Hina is the one in a hurry, and Aya wonders what happened to her own sense of urgency as Hina grabs her by the hand and drags her out into the hall with fervor. “We have to tell Sayo!” 

Good gods, is she fast. Aya stumbles to keep up, hiking up her final remaining shift as best she can. 

Hina fortunately came with a dress already - as white and sparkling as her scales had been - and so she’s not romping around in the nude. Aya is far too scared to approach the royal chambers on her own, being technically married into the royal family or otherwise, but Hina has no such reservations. She makes a beeline to a room, still holding Aya’s hand, and clambers directly onto Princess Sayo’s bed. 

Oh, god. Aya somehow manages to separate herself so she might stand more respectfully at the bedside, but Sayo gets much the same morning greeting as Aya had. “Sayo! Sayo! Sayo! Wake up!”

“Hina...................!” Sayo practically growls, before her eyes are even open, and she does still shove the other princess off herself, but her anger is quickly eclipsed by bewilderment. “Hold on a moment, you’ve...”

Sayo looks between Aya, who feels suddenly bashful put on the spot, and Hina, who doesn’t have a hint of embarrassment. “Aya broke the curse! She beat me up and everything!”

The other princess narrows her eyes momentarily, so Aya hastily waves her hands about trying to clear things up. “O-only as much as necessary! The witch I talked to was very particular about the milk, a-and then when I was trying to hold her in my arms it was kind of hard...”

There’s a long, drawn-out pause, time with which Sayo slowly brings a hand to the bridge of her nose, pinches it, and takes a long, deep breath. She opens her eyes again, looking composed as ever. So  _ that’s _ how she does it.... Aya marvels at the princess’ acting prowess, just for a moment.

“I’m happy to see that you’re alright, Miss Maruyama. I’m also happy to see you’ve transformed back to normal, Hina. That should take much of the burden off our parents, and make it easier to....Hina? Where are you going?”

Hina has already rounded the corner to the room, and hardly looks back to reply. “I’m going to go down to the kitchens. I’m hungry!”

“Without telling mother and father - ?!” Sayo raises her voice after Hina, but it’s too late. 

Aya sighs and also moves to depart. Hina is  _ her _ wife after all, so she might as well be the one keeping track of her, right? She’s hungry as well from her workout last night. She shakes her head and shoots a good-natured smile in Sayo’s direction. “Please, go tell the King and Queen. I’ll take care of Hina for now, okay?”

“...Much appreciated. I’d better take my leave, then.”

Sayo moves off in the other direction when they get through the doorway and Aya plods along somewhat contentedly through the hallway until she makes an important realization. 

She has no idea where the kitchen is. 

“Hina!!! Hinaaaaa! Help, I’m lost!” She’d thought perhaps Hina would hear her, but no dice. She must have taken off running not long after leaving Sayo’s room......

Aya will just have to find the kitchens the hard way, then. Maybe she’ll smell them as she gets closer.....? She can dream, right?

* * *

She does, eventually, find the kitchens, and Hina has already made herself comfortable at the dining hall, having captured the attention of one of the castle servants. Aya nervously approaches the table, and Hina smiles in her direction, pausing for a moment to shove one of the chairs out from under the table, clearly bading her to sit.

Once that’s over with, though, she goes right back to talking to the girl she’d been in here with. “-anyway, that’s how I turned into a person. So now I can eat bread and stuff better!”

“You couldn’t before?” Aya queries. Hina didn’t seem to have a problem getting into the wedding cake...

She shrugs. “Eh. I don’t think I tasted much of anything. Anyway, that’s not important here! You’re Tsugumi, right?” 

This is directed toward the girl who’d been at the table the whole time, evidently trapped by Hina’s whirlwind explanation and chattering. “Um...yes, that would be me. You know my name?”

Hina shrugs once again. “What do you think of Sayo?” she asks, apparently deciding to ignore the question entirely. 

“I think she’s a great princess, I guess. Doesn’t everyone? She’s very diligent, and never slacks off...” Tsugumi trails off as Hina shakes her head rather visibly. “Is something the matter, princess Hina?”

Huffing, Hina crosses her arms. “That’s all formality. What do you think of  _ her _ ? Is she cool? Is she pretty?”

Tsugumi hums. “I guess I think she’s kind. And she’s definitely pretty. Is that satisfying enough for you?” She seems alarmingly willing to go along with Hina’s whims. Is that the power of a princess, or is this girl just too patient for her own good....? Then again, if a responsible person ought to have interrupted by now, Aya certainly hasn’t spoken up either.

But that’s different, since they’re talking about people she doesn’t know too well and she loves to gossip. 

....on second thought, maybe her tolerance level for this sort of thing is also irresponsible. Oh well. 

“I  _ guess _ ,” Hina replies with an exaggerated sigh, throwing one hand theatrically up in the air. “I was only asking since she thinks  _ you’re _ super hot.”

Just as Aya is getting interested, their group gains another member. 

“Excuse me?”

Oh, that’s the worst member they could have gained. Aya feels the strong desire, not for the first time, to astrally project herself out of the path of the two princesses. Hina grins and waves. “Hey Sayo! We were just talking about you!”

If looks could kill, Hina would be six feet under. “ _ So I heard, _ ” Sayo says, in a tone far from pleased. “You’d do well not to spread rumors.”

Hina frowns. “I thought rumors were lies? You aren’t saying you don’t think Tsugumi is cute, are you?”

Sayo stumbles as though she’d been physically struck, and her words falter just as much. “Th-that’s not.... I never went as far as to say something like  _ that _ , but I also don’t - you can’t just - !” 

“Man, I don’t get it at all!” Hina sighs. “Just tell mom and dad you’re not into -”

“ _ Hina. _ ” Sayo’s voice is suddenly very forceful, enough so to give even the brashest ot princesses pause. Hina’s eyes go wide, and she lowers her head abruptly. “That’s  _ enough _ .” 

Aya feels her shoulders stiffen on instinct. There’s a line between gossip and....this. This is family business. Tsugumi seems to realize the same thing, and hurriedly (but quietly) makes her exit, just as the King and Queen, who Aya only just recalls Sayo had gone to rouse, enter from the other side. 

Oh, what timing! Aya chuckles nervously. She is in danger. 

“Oh,  _ Hina _ ! The curse is lifted!” The Queen cries, and the still stricken-looking Hina is abruptly accosted by her mother.

“So it was!” She recovers, running a hand through her hair and flashing an easy smile. “Aya really worked some wonders on me last night, you know? It was super boppin’!”

All three of the royals turn to face her. Aya thinks that maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if she’d been eaten last night after all. Her skin flushes a shade of red reserved for roses and velvet. “W-w-w-w-wait ! H-hold on a minute, it was nothing like that! I was just - we were just -”

“Covered in milk, wrestling on the floor...” Does Hina have to sound so dreamy while she says it?! “Aya threw me onto the bed and we passed out right away! When I woke up, I was like this!”

“I say! It seems Maruyama’s daughter has as much spunk in her as the old man!” The king chuckles. Aya is going to disintegrate at this rate. No longer capable of even sputtering in her defense, she stands immobilized by embarrassment as the Actual Gods-Damned King claps a hand over her back like she’s a drinking buddy of his. “Whatever your methods, you’ve done a great deal for us. I’ll summon your father at once and arrange new quarters for him in the castle.”

“Oh, and I’ll send word to the princes again~!” the queen says cheerily. “I do so love weddings. Aya, you had quite the discerning eye for the decorations at your own wedding. Would you like to help me arrange Sayo’s?” 

Aya makes some limited recovery from being a statue, but not quite enough to parse the question being asked of her. The King has begun ambling away, but the Queen still stares expectantly. On one hand, it’s reassuring that she seems to be welcomed into the family, but on the other.... “Well, your majesty, I.... I suppose I would, but to be truthful, I don’t quite know Princess Sayo well enough to guess what she’d like...” She trails off, feeling the remnants of her blush creep back up. “I’d have to ask her.”

‘Yeah, mom!” Hina tacks on encouragingly, taking fast to Aya’s arm. “We should ask Sayo what she likes. Like, it would really stink if you got all the decorations set up in purple, but Sayo  _ actually _ ends up liking gold or white and just didn’t want to interrupt.....you know?” As she says the words ‘gold or white’ she pulls Aya closer, a not-so-subtle hint that she’s referring to a preference for women, but it goes in one ear and out the other. 

Sayo catches it, though, and makes an expression somewhere between pleased and displeased in a manner Aya has never seen before. It’s the most conflicted she’s seen a person get. Sort of like she stepped in thick mud, but really needed an excuse to throw out those shoes. Or something? Now Aya is just thinking about that horrid pair of shoes she ‘lost’ in the bog. Her eyes wander back to Sayo, who has now covered up the part of the expression that had been a grimace and is smiling quite pleasantly. 

“ _ Thank you,  _ Hina, but I’m more than capable of discussing my own preferences,” she grits out. “Worry not, mother, whatever you choose will surely be lovely.”

“Sayo.....” Hina sighs, dropping Aya’s arm despondently. She reaches for Aya’s hand instead. “I guess if it’s what you want...then there’s nothing that can be done.” She shakes her head, but still seems put-out. “Come on, Aya. I’ve got some places I wanna show you!”

The Queen hums. “Have fun, dears. Sayo and I will start looking for a prince post-haste -”

“Wait.”

Just a single word from Sayo stops them all in their tracks. The princess takes a moment to brace herself, then turns toward the Queen. “Mother, I want to marry for love. I’ve tried very hard to resign myself to a political marriage, but I just don’t feel I can stomach it.... I was honestly relieved when Hina prevented the first one.” She looks somewhat shame-faced. “But, I do not think we are in desperate need of political alliances right now. There is no shortage of food or signs of coming war....If I may, I would like to make my own decision about who I marry, like you and father did.” 

“Oh, Sayo....of course you can. All this after I’ve been pressuring you so..... Were you going to say anything sooner?”

Sayo shrugs stiffly, looking ill at ease. “....Perhaps if I had known you would relent so easily, I would have. But, it’s been said regardless, and I’ve said it for myself. Now we may all go about our days.... And I don’t expect to hear any more gossiping from nosy princesses.” This is directed rather piercingly at Hina and, for some reason, Aya herself. 

Aya nods hurriedly, while Hina laughs it off. She beams at the other princess. “Married, human, and my sister is happy, too....this is such a boppin way to start the day! Hey, can we do this again tomorrow?”

“Absolutely not,” Sayo says, voice dripping with irritation. 

Even so, it doesn’t deter Hina’s easygoing happiness, and Aya finds herself giggling a little too. A troublesome family she’s gotten mixed up in....

But she did become a princess for the trouble, and Hina’s not so bad, occasional poking and slapping aside. 

“Another happy ending~” chimes a voice Aya could  _ swear _ she’s heard before. Everyone looks around for the source, and not soon after, none other than the witch that’d helped her strolls through from the direction Tsugumi had left. She covers a yawn with the back of her hand. “I slept in too late to see most of it, though....shame, shame.”

Hina seems to recognize Moca as well. “Moca~! You’ll never believe what just happened!”

She hums. “Did Aya make you shed your skins, throw milk onto you, and throw you at the bed?”

Hina takes a moment, as if mentally ticking off each statement. “....Wow! I guess you already know what happened! Pretty boppin’, right?”

“Mhm.....say, Aya. Was breaking the curse easy?” Moca asks, bringing a hand to her chin in contemplation. 

Aya pauses. “Well.....the last part was hard, but other than that, not really.”

“M _ hmm.... _ ” Moca hums again, now more thoughtfully. “Then d’ya think I can borrow you to break another curse?”

“Oh, oh, can I come too?” Eagerly, Hina crowds around Aya, sounding rather set on it despite Aya not having agreed yet, and she pulls her into a back-breaking hug. “I want to see it again! If we can’t relive our wedding night, can this be our honeymoon? Please?”

“H-hey, I don’t even know what the curse is.....! You can’t seriously just volunteer me out of curiosity, right?” It all seems to fly over Hina’s head. “Right..?” Aya repeats nervously, as she’s dragged along after Hina and Moca.

“Troublesome as always....” Sayo grumbles. “I can have some of the royal guard dispatched to help you, but knowing those witches, you’ll probably be gone faster than they could follow. Best of luck, Aya.”

Defeated, Aya allows them to lead the way. It was kind of thrilling, and Hina seems to have her heart set on it. “So...What did you want me to do again?” She asks, a bit weakly. 

“Well, there’s this girl named Ran.....” Moca starts contemplatively. “I can’t get too close to her, because of a curse from another witch. But you and Hina should be fine.”

“Sh-should be?! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Even as she protests, the scenery begins to change around her. “Hold on a minute!”

Hina hangs off Aya’s shoulder cheerfully. “This should be fun!” she coos, pulling Aya closer to herself. “Don’t worry so much; I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. You’re my wife, remember?” Hina presses a kiss to Aya’s cheek, causing her to blush. “And you're the coolest wife ever, too! You tackled a huge lindworm!”

“Really...?”

“Yup!” Hina chirrups. “So, you’re down for our honeymoon now, right? It looks like this is the place.” She gestures out to the fields, littered with dangerous-looking crags and pitfalls, leading up to a stone tower. 

Aya grimaces. Why does it feel like she just got sweet talked into this...? But, Hina does look really happy..... Aya stills herself and takes a deep breath, reaching to take Hina’s hand. When she finds it, and Hina looks curiously to her, she smiles and squeezes it softly. “Sure. Let’s break another curse today!”

Hina cheers, and leads the way into the (second) most dangerous thing Aya has ever done in her life. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was extremely fun to write but coming to a conclusion was absolutely an absolutely excruciating experience for some reason lmfao. BIG shoutout to my good good buds whom helped me refine the fic!! thank u. thank u for believing in me. 
> 
> anyway author trivia the most fun part of this to write was aya suplexing hina onto the bed. i peaked there i think


End file.
